settling.

Settling in.

Settling down.

And just plain settling.

I've been MIA for a few days (weeks?). Sorry bout that. Getting married, moving, and starting a new job is a little time-consuming (in case any of you haven't noticed).

But, also, we're living without internet and cable for now. Financial reasons, obv. And now that Project Runway's over, I'm getting by just fine.

About that new job.

I've settled on a boring, gray-cubicle desk job. It pays the bills. But I'm slowly dying.

mrs.

Whether or not to change my name was a no-brainer for me. As feminist as I can be, I'm also super traditional. And when we have kids, I kind of want our family to have one unifying identity. Different girls make different choices for different reasons. But my mind was made up.

Now that it's coming down to actually changing everything over (which is a lot of work, ps), I'm suddenly getting a little emotional about it. Over a month after the wedding, I still haven't done any of the legwork. My students still call me Miss __. I always seem to be too busy to work on changing my social security card and license, and until recently, I hadn't noticed that I kept putting it off.


Of all the married-issues I'd anticipated, this came out of the blue.



(And no, it's not because he has an ugly name. Our names are equally long, ethnic and even laughable.)

buy, don't rent.

Renting crap made me feel like I was dumping cash in the garbage.

Not to mention, most rental companies cater specifically to wedding-type-events and so, factor in the "wedding extra."*

Since I bought nearly everything we used, I've been able to sell, lend, and give away a ton of stuff to other equally broke brides.

And it was cheaper than renting. When thrifting, ebaying, etc. I kept a little reference list of rental prices so I would be sure to spend the-same-as or less-than what rental companies were charging.

1) Thrift stores, flea markets, and ebay. I was worried about getting things used, just because it would take a lot of time and scavenging to get enough plates, cups, etc. for a reception of 200 in 6 months. I ended up giving up on plates (the whole "mismatched" thing is very in right now, but it's not my style) but I was able to find 200+ glasses.

2) Restaurant supply companies. One good one is Instawares, where I found a dozen forks for $1. Keep in mind that the more people you're having, the bigger serveware you'll need. Meaning, your normal coffee pot isn't gonna cut it. Buying one of those huge restaurant-grade ones is the best bet.

3) Table linens. I'm not a fan of chair covers. I think they're hideous. But I also think bare metal chairs are more hideous. If you can afford to rent some good chairs, do it. But if, like me, you're stuck with a choice between cold stark metal and a wrinkled sea of ivory**, Tablecloths.com is the cheapest place I've found to buy not just chair covers, but also table covers, sashes, etc.

4) Wedding forums. Yes. They're the devil. But there are one or two out there (like Offbeat Bride and Brideshare) that aren't like the usual evil incarnation. You can find other brides in your area selling (or lending) their old wedding crap.


* I hate how anything wedding-specific immediately triples in price. Because when you're planning a wedding, obviously you have tons of extra cash to throw around.
**Don't bother with the steamers. I tried it. Waste of time.

more veils.

I had two.

Gross, right? I'm so self-indulgent.

I planned to DIY a birdcage veil for when I swapped out the cathedral-length (which, by the way, is really annoying to wear in the wind).

But, yikes. It was impossible. I tried about eight times until, 1 week before the wedding, I made the best decision possible and ordered one from my favorite veil queen (and fun blogger), one little dove. (sometimes you need to vote in favor of sanity over crafty frugality.)


Not only did this amazing lady custom-design a little birdcage (I didn't know what kind to order, so she made one based only on what she knew about my tastes) but she did it in one week. Hot damn.

(photos by Love Me Do)

married over a month.

...and I still have wedding-disaster-nightmares.

Gross.

When's that gonna stop?

of veils and things.

My mom had her heart set on seeing me in a cathedral length veil. She kept talking about the veil she saw on The Wedding Date.

A cheesy chick flick was the last thing I wanted to think of in connection with my wedding. But I caved.

And then I saw the price tag.

So (of course) we made it.

Ta-da.

(photos from Love Me Do)

the good that comes from the bad.

So, yes. The music was the big disaster of the day.

But, like I said. Not all of it was bad.

For one thing, by throwing out all of the traditions that I had held onto just for the sake of being traditional, I found out how important they were to everyone else.


My dad really fought for his dad-and-daughter dance. Which was kind of touching. The girls begged for a bouquet toss. And this is all sorta funny considering I originally felt so un-hip (and even selfish!) for keeping those traditions in the game plan. So, though my gut instinct was "cancel-everything-so-I-don't-hafta-think," we ended up tossing everything back in.

And, yeah. My original fears that pianojazzMilesDavis would be too sleepy for a hot party? The keyboard jazz was awesome and danceable and everyone asked for the band's card and congratulated me on my great musical taste. Hm.



But the best best best part, is the first dance. We sorta winged it. (duh. We sorta had to wing everything). So I jumped on stage and told the band that I wanted a first dance, not too long, not too mushy.

And that band. By accident, without knowing, played "Ribbons in the Sky." (I told you. Tons of keyboard Stevie Wonder.)

My parents' "song." That just 8 months prior, we played for their "first dance" at their silver anniversary (they hadn't had one at their wedding).



Plus I have super awesome memories of my dad whistling to get the attention of the room, and my brother awkwardly yelling introductions over 200 voices. (personal intros, as it turns out, are way preferred over mispronounced ones)


(all photos, as usual, via the lovely duo at Love Me Do)

music mishap, cont.

I know, I know. The general consensus is I should whip out my contract, demand my money back, complain to the company... etc.

But that's one of the risks you take when you plan a wedding on a budget, my dears. There was no contract. No company. No written agreement other than some informal emails.

These guys were playing at our wedding cause I called in a favor from a friend.




Anyway. I bitched about the bad and ugly. But there was some good that came from all that crap.* I'll be sure to tell you aaall about it.



*One of the things I'm finding out about weddings, is that they have a magical way of giving disasters a happy-ending-twist every time. Read.